BE STILL - A Prayer To A Silent God

(Brother Gabriel, I have updated some of the text to reflect my evolving thoughts on silent prayer with God. It differs slightly, but in important ways, from the recording)

God,

Despite what I may think or feel at any moment, I am not certain of what it is I need or what you want from me. And when I do ask for what I think I want or need, my prayers often go unanswered. This leads me to conclude that either I am far adrift from your divine will for my life or your silence is essential to our relationship. While this can often feel lonely, I do not feel left alone by you.

I am striving to let go of how I want you to be and accept how and when you choose to reveal yourself. In this, I am seeking to free my mind of so many misguided beliefs about you. 

So often my requests, no matter how sincere, seem to make little difference to the outcome of a situation and only weaken my faith in your goodness and sow seeds of disappointment in my heart. As a result, I have become exhausted with talking prayers. I love you and I trust that you know what I need even before I ask. I will meet your silence with my own reverential silence. In this sacred silence I will seek to be with you, not seek something from you. 

I ask forgiveness for seeking to make you into my image so you might do my bidding. I choose to trust that when you make your invisible presence known, it will be both good and timely. If you allow something I love to be taken, the reason will most likely remain hidden in your quietude and therefore would be foolish to seek any explanation. This is not the God I want but rather the God of my experience and that of countless millions both now and throughout history. 

May you correct where I am wrong and reveal the Truth. I release all superstitious illusions that if I say a certain prayer, at a certain time, do good deeds to gain your favor, or continually and earnestly repeat my requests that you will somehow be persuaded to bend to my will and answer my prayers. No more sacrilege. No more begging for miracles. No more. No more. No more. I am free. I am free. At last, I am free.